6 POWERFUL QUESTIONS TO OVERCOME LIMITING BELIEFS
WHAT ARE LIMITING BELIEFS?
They are the thoughts that constrain us in some way, and because we believe them to be true, they stop us from speaking up, from taking action and from thinking we can achieve our goals. Sometimes, these beliefs are about ourselves and our self-identity and other times they may be about other people and the world around us.
WHY DO WE LIMIT OUR BELIEFS?
We learn from our experiences, particularly those from our childhood. When we act, something
happens, and from there we conclude. Most of the time these beliefs are helpful, but they can also be quite limiting when we form false and limiting conclusions. It’s an inbuilt way for us to protect ourselves such as when we get burnt from touching a hot stove, we believe all stoves are dangerous and never touch a stove again.
Our learning also influences our perceptions of the world. From our teachers to our parents to our peers, we are informed by others about their beliefs, which can sometimes be very limiting. Just from being told something may mean you never try things and miss out on incredible experiences and knowledge. Another reason we revert to using self-limiting beliefs is that it allows us to excuse ourselves from our failures. When we do something, and it doesn’t work, we often explain our failures by creating and using beliefs to justify our actions and leave us blameless. This means we don’t learn and limit what we will think and do in the future. Finally, our limiting beliefs are often driven by fear. That fear could be of harm to our self, criticism, ridicule or rejection by others. It is so powerful it stops us from doing or thinking about something.
HOW DO THEY MANIFEST IN THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE?
In the language we choose to use, our limiting beliefs can become apparent when we say:
I DO/DON’T
We can sometimes define ourselves by what we do or do not do. You may say ‘I am an office manager’, which means you do not do sales or marketing and should not even think about it, and therefore fail to see the value you offer the company overall. Another common limiting belief is ‘I don’t deserve...’, and do not expect or seek things.
I CAN’T
We often have limited self-images of what we can and cannot do. If you think ‘I cannot dance’ then you will never try dancing lessons to improve your ability. Our self-limiting belief is that our abilities are fixed and that we cannot learn.
I MUST/MUSTN’T
Sometimes we can think that we are constrained by values, norms, laws and other rules that dictate what we must and must not do. If you think ‘I must post on social media every day’, then this robs you of time that may be spent on something more productive.
I AM/AM NOT
‘I am’ thinking assumes we cannot change. Whether you think ‘I am beautiful’ or ‘I am not beautiful’, either belief may stop you from seeking to look for attributes outside of aesthetic beauty.
‘I am’ also leads to generalization, for example, where ‘I am ugly’ means ‘all of me is ugly’ and therefore, not worthy.
DISCOVER YOUR SELF LIMITING BELIEFS WITH THESE POWERFUL QUESTIONS:
What situations have you been in or are you currently in where you are not happy with your reality?
What limiting beliefs you either caused you to make the decision to get there, or are keeping you stuck in the situation?
What reality you want to create?
What kind of beliefs does the version of you who lives this reality have?
How would this version of you live out these beliefs (how would this version of you act, speak, interact with others, walk in to a room? What kind of decisions would they make)?
What can you choose to believe today to align with the reality you want to create?
KEY POINTS:
Understand the language we use has a powerful effect on how we view ourselves and the world around us.
Identify times in your business or life that you have done something, or not done something, purely motivated by a thought you had.
Examine your past experiences and establish when you started to think in this way.
Recognize that you have a choice. We can choose an inner dialogue of self-encouragement and self-motivation, or we can choose one of self-defeat and self-pity. It’s a power we all have.
Don’t be hard on yourself if you find that you have feelings of disappointment or resentment. This is a process of change; we’re not aiming for perfection.
Use your Achievher 90 Day Planner or Gratitude Journal to record your thoughts, emotions and beliefs and the language you use.
Remember, when you know better, you can do better. Knowledge is power.
If you’re struggling, call on a friend to work over the points above together. They will have a better idea of the language and thoughts you share that you might be oblivious to.
